Interactive Crisis Response Plan

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Thrive Beyond Trauma Counseling · Partner Version

Crisis Response Plan

For the partner of someone in recovery for sexual addiction (SA) — couple work and disclosure context.

This plan is designed to hold you through the arc of disclosure and the recovery work that follows. Flooding, dissociation, rage, numbing, collapse — all of these are recognized betrayal trauma responses. They are not evidence that something is wrong with you. They are evidence that something traumatic has happened to you.

This is a support tool. It does not replace emergency care. If you are in immediate danger of harming yourself or anyone else, call 911 or call or text 988.

Client Information

Full nameDate of birthToday's dateTherapist / providerDisclosure phase / contexte.g. pre-disclosure, disclosure day, first 72 hours post-disclosure, first week post-disclosure, ongoing recovery

Phased Plan Around Disclosure

Each phase of the disclosure arc calls for different clinical attention. Check the practices you commit to using in each window.

Pre-disclosure

In the lead-up — the weeks or days before formal disclosure

Work with your own partner-trauma-informed clinician (CCPS / APSATS) — weekly at minimum.
Build an ER support plan with your clinician: who you will call, where you will go, what you will do in the first 24 hours.
Alert your trusted support person that disclosure is coming — you do not need to give details, only a timeframe.
Do not rehearse or try to pre-script what you will hear. You cannot predict it.
Sleep, eat, hydrate, move — your body is about to do real clinical work.

Disclosure day

The day of the formal therapeutic disclosure session

Eat beforehand even if you are not hungry. Bring water.
Ask a trusted support person to be available before and after — not in the session, but reachable.
Allow yourself to respond however you respond in the session — tears, silence, numbness, questions. All of these are valid.
Do not make any relationship decision on disclosure day. No 'I want a divorce,' no 'I forgive you.'
On sleeping arrangements, follow what feels right and grounded rather than what looks like reconciliation.
Immediately after, connect with your individual clinician or support person — not with the SA.

First 24 hours

The acute window after disclosure

Sleep wherever feels safest — this may not be next to your partner.
Keep contact with the SA minimal if you need to. Do not force connection for appearances' sake.
Eat something even if you are not hungry. Dehydration and low blood sugar magnify trauma activation.
Do not surveil, hack, search devices, or try to gather more proof. Your clinician holds that process now.
If you are flooded or dissociating, use your somatic tools (below). If you feel suicidal, call 988 or 911.

First 72 hours

The stabilization window

Daily contact with your clinician if possible.
Expect waves — calm, then flooding, then numbness, then anger. This is normal. It is not you falling apart.
Reduce exposure to triggers — certain music, shows, places, social media. Protect your nervous system.
Delegate what you can. This is not the week to host, to plan, to perform.
Do not make major life decisions. Hold them for a later window when you are regulated.

First week

The integration window

Continue weekly (or more frequent) individual therapy.
Re-engage with your partner support group or start one if you have not yet.
Resume the couples check-in only when your clinician gives the green light — and only if you want to.
Journal, voice-memo, or contain what comes up somewhere other than your conversations with the SA.
Keep basics intact — sleep, food, hydration, small movement. The body is the foundation.

Ongoing recovery

Beyond the disclosure arc

Continue your own healing work — betrayal trauma recovery is a longer arc than disclosure.
Re-engage with this crisis plan any time you notice rising acuity — do not wait for a full flood to use it.
Your healing is yours. It is not dependent on the SA's recovery trajectory.

III

My Grounding & Regulation Tools

When flooding, dissociation, rage, or suicidal thoughts rise, I will not sit silently in them. I will use the tools below — chosen to meet a betrayal-traumatized nervous system, not generic stress.

Somatic & orienting (first, before reasoning)

Orient: look slowly around the room, name 5 things you see, 4 you hear, 3 you feel, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.
Cold water on the face, ice in the hands, or a cold shower — interrupts flooding fast.
Bilateral stimulation: butterfly hug (arms crossed, alternating tap on shoulders), slow walking, or alternating foot tap.
Long exhales — longer exhale than inhale. 4 in, 6–8 out. Do this for 2–3 minutes.

Containment (when thoughts and images are flooding)

Write it down. Unsent letter, voice memo, journal — put the content somewhere that is not your partner.
Name what you are feeling, out loud: 'I am flooded. I am in a trauma response. This will pass.'
Set a container timer — 20 minutes of letting the feeling have space, then shift activity. Do not drown in it indefinitely.
Avoid consuming more — do not search, scroll, compare, or research during a flood. That is not regulation.

Reaching out (when you need a person)

Call your own individual therapist or partner specialist first.
Reach your trusted support person — someone who will not pressure you to forgive, minimize, or perform.
Go to your partner support group, meeting, or online community — connection with others who have been here is a clinical tool.
If you are suicidal, or about to harm yourself or anyone else, call 988 or 911. Do not wait.

My Support Tree

Tiered contacts — call the closest tier first, and escalate if you cannot reach someone or if acuity is rising.

Tier 1 — My own clinical team (call first)

My individual therapist (partner-trauma-informed — CCPS / APSATS ideally)

Phone / contact

Partner-specialist clinician (if different)

Phone / contact

Tier 2 — My support community

Partner support group (APSATS, BTC-focused, or similar)

Contact

Trusted support person (not your partner; not someone who pressures you to forgive or minimize)

Phone / contact

Second trusted support person

Phone / contact

Spiritual or faith support (if meaningful)

Contact

Tier 3 — For emergencies

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988 — available 24/7
911 — immediate danger

Preferred emergency room / urgent care

Higher Level of Care

If, at any point, you or your clinician assess that this plan is not holding — ongoing suicidal ideation, inability to function day-to-day, severe dissociation, a nervous system too flooded to stabilize — you may move into a higher level of care. This may include a trauma-focused IOP, a betrayal-trauma intensive or retreat, or residential support. Asking for more is not weakness. It is your healing claiming the space it needs.

I am willing to move into a higher level of care if this plan is not holding. I also understand that if staying in the shared living space is not safe for my healing, a therapeutic separation can be considered with my clinician — a structured pause, not a decision about the relationship.

Emergency Resources

These are always available, regardless of this plan.

911 — if you or anyone else is in immediate danger.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988 (available 24/7).
Crisis Text Line — text HOME to 741741.
Emergency Room — nearest emergency room or urgent care (see Tier 3 above).

VII

Client Acknowledgment

Initial each line to confirm you understand and agree.

#	I acknowledge	Initial
1	I understand this plan is a support tool and does not replace emergency care.
2	I agree to tell my clinician if my risk increases, if I am unable to keep myself safe, or if this plan is no longer holding.
3	I understand that the SA is not my crisis support during acute betrayal trauma episodes. My safety team is mine.
4	I will not make major relationship decisions while acutely dysregulated. I will wait until I am regulated and have consulted my own clinician.

VIII

Signatures

Client signature

Draw your signature above

Date

Therapist / provider signature

Draw your signature above

Date

A copy of this signed plan is kept by the client, by the therapist, and (with the client's consent) may be shared with the partner for mutual transparency.

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